10 Ways to Drive On The Road

On an Indian road, every emotion from anger to happiness and everything in between is on display.

1. The Crazy Honker

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2. The Overtaker

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3. The Beep-Beep Words Driver

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4. The Road Rage-er

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5. The Noob on the Wheel

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6. The Kings

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7. The Spitter

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8. The Song Lovers

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9. The Workaholic

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10. The Loving Family

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🙂 😀 😛

 

Check your vocab

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world….

I was able to pronounce pretty much all of the words but, some of them I’ve never even seen before like Hiccough, skein, transom, Melpomene, and balmoral. I used to think I had a pretty good vocabulary but, I guess not, LOL ;p.  I’ve honestly never heard of any of these words before so, now I have to look them up to see what they mean and how to say them.

Dont be Lazy 😀
 
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
 

Whew! This one was a killer and almost tripped me up a few times, but I did it! One goal in life is to memorize and recite this poem one day 🙂 

Beauty Parlor Rocks \m/

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was
taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death
experience.

Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up ?”

God said, “No, you have another 34 years to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital & have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck.

She even changed her hair color Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home,

she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked, “You said I had another 34 years to live.

Why didn’t you save me from the truck?” (You’ll love this) 😀
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.
.
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God replied: “I couldn’t recognize you! 🙂

Pure pressure on him :D

Now we know the real story.

I’m afraid if I share I’ll be struck by lightning. 😉

 LOL, can’t stop laughing 😀 🙂 :

I didn’t understand the significance of his resignation till I was told hes only the 2nd pope after 600 years to give up his position. 

Everyone else died as pope.